Mass Vomiting!
Not since the mid-nineties and Tom Hanks infamous Oscar speech has such a response been elicited. Thanks to Tony Blair's and George Bush's swapping of gushing praise yesterday it happened again as mass vomiting erupted all over Britain last night.
The effect was heard, felt and smelt all over the UK last night and it is feared that the mess will not be cleared up until sometime next week.
No-one was unaffected by the sugary praise exchanged between the too. Even loyal Blair supporters were affected by the press conference. A loyal Blair aide, who we cannot name so instead we'll him call a spineless vainglorious sycophantic toady who trembles in fear when the party whip comes calling, said:
"I thought the speech was lovely but even I found myself retching at the end of it."
It wasn't all bad though as the arse licking speech came just in time for a Mr M'upName from Bath, UK.
After accidentally overdosing on indigestion tablets he was advised to induce vomiting.
"Unfortunately," Mr M'upName commented earlier, "I had trouble even retching. But thank God I turned on the TV when I did. Cuz when I saw Blair lavish Bush like that, out it came! I was like a garden hose. There was no stopping it. I even brought up a spangle I ate in '79!"
Orwell to stay
With rumours of reshuffling in the US Goverment following George W Bush's re-election, one man at least is happy. It has been confirmed that, Secretary of Doublespeak George Orwell, is staying on.
Responsible for such couplets as:
'There should be limits to freedom' and 'The war in Iraq is really about peace' it is understood that President Bush is keen to continue his work with speech writer Orwell. Mr Orwell himself is said to be very happy about the confirmation, despite being dead for over 50 years. 
Dead but happy
Oh God no!
It was louder than the worst thunderstorm you can imagine.
Those who were near it are now said to be deaf as a result.
Seizeometers the world over went into overdrive last night after the cry that went up after George W Bush's re-election.
This is not happening! This is not happening!
People from as far away as the Outer Hebrides heard it. Even scientists working in the North Pole heard the cry of, 'Oh God, no!' as the US Election result became clear.
It isn't clear if this unique phenomena has occurred before but This might be Satire analyst's believe that it has happened at least once before.
That being the first time Bush was elected.
JUST IN
God responded earlier today with the following statement:
'Don't blame me. I didn't bloody well vote for him!'
Keep up to date with the US Election and all other headlines here
Moore: A new low
Michael Moore is known for his controversial films and provocative views.
Today he is set to shock once more.
On the day of the US Election This Might be Satire has found out through exclusive contacts that Michael Moore has not said a bad word about George W Bush for at least two days.
It will shock and offend many, not only in the US, but throughout the world.
We tried to get in touch with Mr Moore so he could explain his actions. He declined to comment but a spokesman for him didn't issue the following statement today,
'Mr Moore wishes it to be known that in not saying anything provocative or critical of Dubya he is exercising his right to free-speech. Thank you.'
According to his supporters this isn't the first time Mr Moore has stirred controversy by not saying anything about President Bush. A close friend we made up earlier said,
'Just before Mike's first book came out he went at least 24 hours without saying anything about Bush. So it's not surprise to me that he hasn't said anything lately'.
JUST IN:
We've heard reports that Moore has just told a friend that he hopes,
'that dork Bush loses his job tonight'.
