Blunkett shocker!

They said it could never happen. But yesterday it did happen.
David Blunkett found his integrity.
It had been feared lost forever, never to be seen ever ever again.
But yesterday evening it was found safe and sound locked away at Bellmarsh prison.
Upon his first days of freedom in well over a decade the small withered integrity had this to say.
"It's been a long time coming. But I knew I'd be free. Once David left office."
As to its imprisonment?
"I was left there due to having no real function. I was as useless to David in office as Geoff Hoon is now. Integrity in Government?! Who has heard of such a thing? So I was left in Bellmarsh, safely away from the public and public office."
We also asked if it had happened to see Tony Blair's integrity whilst there.
Mr Blunkett's integrity laughed.
"Tony Blair's integrity?! There's no such thing!"



Loch Ness monster: still spotted more often than an MP's integrity

Santa threat!

A communist

First it was Halloween now it could very well be Christmas.
In a move that is bound to upset kids, parents and credit lenders everywhere Santa has threatened the unthinkable.
A Christmas strike.
Press releases are rare enough from the big bearded one but This Might be Satire managed to track him down to explain this potentially upsetting turn of events.
We asked, would the strike be global?
'No,' Santa responded. 'Only in the US.'
But why?
'It's bloody dangerous that's why,' Santa said. 'What's going to happen when I fly over the US in my sleigh on Christmas eve? Am I to be shot down because they think I'm in Al-Qaida? All sorts of things could go wrong.'
Critics upon hearing this were quick to accuse the jolly one of anti-Americanism and of being a commie. After all he does wear red and give out presents for free, surely a sign of his blatant socialistic tendencies?
Santa refused to comment, therefore a sure sign of his guilt, so we pressed him on the real reason for the US strike. After all our readers deserve the truth.
'Bush! That's why,' he responded plainly. 'If that was America's gift to the world they don't deserve a Christmas this year. So bah bloody humbug to them!
And up the revolution! Oops.'