Vote or die: new Gov. initiative

With the UK general election coming in May the UK government has decided to take a cue from the recent Iraq elections in an attempt to increase voter turn out and vanquish voter apathy.
Voters in the Iraq election were threatened with extreme violence if they voted. So the government here has decided to use this principle in reverse to get voters back to the ballot box.
Vote or die!
In what has been termed political correctness gone mad by virtually no-one, accept the Daily Mail which calls everything and anything political correctness gone mad, Government sources are hoping that this threat of death may well increase the voter turn out this year.
The threats will take the form of the recent government's guide to preparing for emergencies.
With this in mind the leaflets will probably be delivered to every household in time for the election. 2010.
It is thought the tag line will be as follows:
"Go out, vote and live."
When This might be Satire suggested to a Home Office Official that perhaps the best way to increase voter turn out was to have honest politicians who mean what they say and aren't false plastic toadies serving themselves and no one else, we were laughed away.

Axis of Jobseekers

David Frum, George W Bush's former speechwriter, has been out of work for some time now.
Unfortunately since the dizzy heights of his famous 'evil' speech Mr Frum has fallen from grace.
There's not much call for an evil doer speechwriter as President bush has learned to latch the words 'evil', 'doer' all by himself now.
Since those heady days Mr Frum has of course busied himself with writing speeches for other notable public figures. These have included the Royal family's Prince Harry, (Axis of Nazis), Prime Minister Tony Blair (Axis of Poodles) and the World society for Mathematicians (Axis of Axis').
But Mr Frum's luck may be in as another group has come calling for him.
Doctors the world over are clamoring for Mr Frum to pen another book like his last George W Bush inspired 'The Right Man'.
Are they big fans of his writing?
Or do they really believe in Mr Frum's assertion that Bush is indeed the right man?
"Not really," Doctor Makin Thusup said when This Might be Satire contacted him earlier today. "It's just that the book has such overwhelming vomit inducing qualities that we use it quite a lot in emergency. Whenever we get a O/D victim who can't induce vomitus themselves, we just get them to read a bit of 'The Right Man' and out it comes. Near floods the hospital with vomit."
But why the request for a new book?
"Oh, we're running out of new copies and at the moment our present copies of the book are starting to fall apart."
The phone line then went dead. A few seconds later the Doctor picked up the phone.
"Sorry. I'd just remembered a passage from the book and had to puke.
Bugger. I have to go. I've nearly flooded my entire house. Goodbye."



The hazards of reading 'The Right Man'